THINGS I CARRY IN MY PURSE AT ALL TIMES

Obviously the whole wallet-keys-cellphone party is happening in my bag at any given moment. Here's the list of things I could probably do without. What's in your wallet?
  1. Sewing kit
    I've used it once. A coworker pointed out a hole in a shirt I probably bought at an urban outfitters in college, so I promptly patched it in the bathroom stall.
  2. Spare contact lenses
    I'm -4.00 and -3.50 with a wacky astigmatism. If I lose a contact, I'm blind.
  3. "No fucks given" business cards
    For use in conversations that just need to end, I have a stack of business cards that have "no fucks given" printed on them. Don't worry, the raised writing would give Patrick Bateman a heart attack.
  4. Two pens with stylus tips
    Because you never know when you have to get creative with snapchat.
  5. Cough drops
    It looks like I'm channeling my inner grandma when I'm pulling these babies out, but I find them to be really comforting when I'm anxious.
  6. Zomig 2.5mg tablets
    Do you have migraines? I have migraines. They are the worst. They feel like someone is stabbing your neck with a fucking ice pick while simultaneously blinding you. This is the only medication I've ever taken that can make them go away.
  7. Condoms
    For someone who has been on birth control for the better part of two decades, I get that there are scarier things than being pregnant.
  8. Mini toothbrush and toothpaste
    See also: condoms.
  9. Baby wipes
    See also: condoms.
  10. Tea tree blotting paper
    My nose gets shiny as fuck and sometimes I get too vain for my own good.
  11. Rewards card for every froyo store
    Pinkberry? Menchies? Yogurtland? Yeah, I'm covered.
  12. Business cards for my tattoo artist, mechanic, and hair dresser
    I will have unsolicited conversations with strangers about these people, and I carry their cards to try to give them more business. I trust them more than I trust most of my family.