Because sometimes the melon turns out to be a melon-shaped object. And once you discover this, too late to tape it back together.
  1. Fruit Rescue Glaze
    Good one for cantaloupe and other muskmelons. Also for stone fruit and pears. Combine 1 c each fruit juice (any) w vinegar (also any) in saucepan w 1/3 c sugar or honey; stir to dissolve. Simmer 20-30 or until reduced by 2/3. Taste/adjust for sweetness, then drizzle over disappointing fruit and marinate for minimum 2 hours, refrigerated.
  2. Balsamic vinegar treatment
    Sprinkle sliced disappointing fruit w some real, true balsamico (about 2 tsp per cup of fruit) and sprinkle lightly w sugar. Let it stand for at least 30 (longer = fine) - then enjoy, especially w strawberries, blackberries, stone fruit muskmelons.
  3. Caramelize!
    Sauté chunks of sad fruit in butter until tender. Add small amounts of lemon juice and sugar to taste, cook until sugar melts. Add a little OJ at the end to deglaze, if desired. Serve at any temperature. (For stone fruit, figs, pineapple, and pears.)
  4. Turn it into salsa.
    Dice, douse (lime juice), season (a little salt, some chili), herbalize (basil or cilantro or a touch of thyme), possibly red onionize (very fine mince) and marinate.
  5. Spike! 🍉🍉🍉
    My favorite upgrade for a boring watermelon. Soak in line juice and tequila (you decide how much) and let it marinate (minimum 1 hour; up to several days). Can add a little sugar to taste, if desired. Can also get fancy w minced jalapeño and crystallized ginger. Chill and serve ice cold.
  6. Make jam
    Underripe fruit has more pectin in it so it will set faster! I usually try to use a mix of underripe and just ripe fruit when I make jam for this reason.
    Suggested by @eatthelove