SONGS I'VE BEEN TOLD PEOPLE "PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR" AT A WEDDING

People who are getting married sometimes ask me to think of songs they should play, because I love weddings and I love making lists (!). I do not always exhibit the most sound judgment about this.
  1. Tunnel of Love by Bruce Springsteen
    I highly suggest that you never bring up Bruce's Tunnel of Love, a song very much about the magic of a marriage turned dark and desperate, as a song that should be played at a wedding.
  2. I Feel Love by Donna Summer
    Seems like Donna Summer would be a good bet, but several realizations follow this suggestion: 1. Not everyone spends time ranking disco songs, with this considered the consistent number one. 2. "Love" in this song does not, in even a remote way, refer to the standard romantic definition of love. 3. The best version of this song is 8+ minutes long.
  3. You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling by The Righteous Brothers
    A song that, when it first occurs to you, is the perfect slow song, a romantic and beautiful sounding lullaby. This is a song about a person who is no longer reciprocating their partner's affection.
  4. David Gray
    Don't suggest David Gray. Such pretty songs! Such pretty songs that are the musical equivalent to staring out the window during a torrential downpour.
  5. The 2014 Diet Coke jingle
    I know, I know, "just for the taste of it-BUMP-BUMP-Diet Coke!" is a jam. But a. it's not a real song and b. It reminds people too much of Happy. And no one wants to hear Happy ever again.