I am in grad school for mental health counseling, currently interning at an outpatient substance abuse clinic.
  1. My client passed away two days ago.
  2. I had just seen him for a session the day before.
  3. He overdosed.
  4. We only had met for three sessions.
  5. He was my first client ever.
  6. I feel like I'm overreacting because, really, I hardly knew him.
  7. But I feel so sad. And I wonder what role I had in his choice to use again after being clean for a time.
  8. I know it likely has nothing to do with me. And people will do what they want to do.
  9. But still.
  10. I wonder if people can ever get out of the way of themselves.
  11. There was a fly at my internship last night that kept flying into the light, zapping himself, as they do. I don't know but I feel like there's a metaphor there.
  12. He was a good person. I wish he had seen that in himself too.