MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE
A few of the things at which I excel.
- •Making up lyrics to the theme song to "Parks and Rec"
- •Getting migraines
- •Ordering and rating tuna melts at every diner in New Jersey
- •Attracting mosquitos
- •Remembering the lyrics to every 80s new wave song yet still being unable to calculate a tip
- •Wearing jaunty scarves
- •Stealing the affection of your cat
- •Correcting people's grammar until they hate me