HOW MY HUSBAND AND I ENDED UP IN SEPARATE BEDS

  1. There's mold in my attic
    Thanks to a leaky roof, thanks to solar panels, thanks to my husband trying to be so damn green
  2. A team of "environmental specialists" are tearing apart our master suite to fix it
    Master suite is the fancy way I describe the upstairs of my house because it's just one bedroom, a bathroom, and a tiny room the realtor told me would make a great nursery but I instead made into a walk in closet.
  3. Everything had to be removed from upstairs
    Some items made it into the Pod Storage parked in front of our house. Most items are smushed into tiny crevices throughout the house never to be seen again.
  4. Thankfully we have two unused rooms in our basement.
    One is a guest room the other is a guest room/ extra furniture storage/ Christmas decoration closet / this room is too small to do anything with except pile things in.
  5. Each room has a bed that one of us adores and the other hates.
    You see where I'm going?
  6. Bed #1 is fluffy like a cloud with Egyptian cotton sheets and the best oversized pillows on the market.
    Sleeping here is like being a Care Bear. Remember how they slept on clouds? I always wanted to do that.
  7. Bed #2 is solid as a rock. Your body must mold to it because it's not molding to anybody.
    Husband loves this bed. It's in the room because he refuses to give it up even though we don't need it and have no suitable bedroom for it.
  8. So we kissed goodnight and retired to our separate rooms.
    It's like the times we stayed the night at either of our parents houses before we were married except there will be no late night sneaking around. We're parent's now. We value good sleep over everything.
  9. Goodnight Ricky! Goodnight Lucy!
    I Love Lucy joke, get it? They always slept in separate beds. Come to think of it at least they were in the same room.