@AIDYBRYANT TWEETZ THAT V MUCH SPEAK 2 ME

  1. I think of myself as high fashion pizza.
    🍕💅
  2. My life is just a string of moments between chicken sandwiches.
  3. You know how dogs brush their teeth by eating a cookie? Can I do that?
  4. I'm gonna breastfeed my kids Pepsi.
    *DCoke
  5. My inner strength is fueled by chicken burritos.
    Burritos are cheaper than therapy.
  6. I feel most elegant during a pedicure when they run that cheese grader over my heel.
    😷*sawdust*✨
  7. I have a very cool habit of ending business emails with, "love you!"
    >>>> "Best,"
  8. One year in NYC and I just saw my first big human shit on the subway.
    Knows a milestone when she sees it.
  9. Sorry to feed the stereotypes but... I CANNOT STOP SHOPPING! SHOPPING IS SO FUN! WOMEN BE SHOPPIN!
    Sometimes gender norms feel so good.
  10. NEW NICKNAME: CRUMB TITZ.
  11. My female uber driver has rolled down her window at two stop lights to say, "Hi Chiquita" to two dogs and one baby. AND I AM IN LOVE.
    Respect where respect is due. Pt 1.
  12. SHOW ME THE MONEY. And to me money is pictures of your dogs and babies in costumes. $$$$
    Pt. 2.
  13. Is there a form of body dysmorphia where you look in the mirror and think you're a floral stevie nicks? Cuz I have that.
    🌸🔮🌸 my aesthetic: wishing boot informed by stevie nicks
  14. FAVORITE HOBBY: to jam small garbage inside of bigger garbage.
  15. Just said, "YES, BITCH!" outloud to myself in the mirror. OKKKK?
    💁#blessup
  16. The best things in life are by the slice.
  17. Just saw a corgi run to scare a bunch of pigeons and now I know what it feels like to be crowned Miss America.