HOW TO GO STREAKING IN NEW ZEALAND

  1. Rent a Campervan
    Just do it.
  2. Park in the Middle of Nowhere
    The New Zealand Department of Conservation has campgrounds all over the country where you can park your van for the night. Choose a remote one. For the smaller campsites, payment is based on an honor system so be as dickish as your conscience allows.
  3. Have a Dance Party
    Pull out that boom, get on top of the hill over yonder, and boogie on down. 90's music, a la Chumbawamba, is ideal.
  4. Feel the Breeze
    It's midnight, that sav blanc is kicking in, and you're feeling pretty fucking free in all of this darkness. Strip down to your birthday suit and sing louder.
  5. See Headlights
    Brush off the headlights in the distance as highway traffic. Realize that there is no highway and the headlights are pretty fucking close.
  6. Run Like Hell
    Without a second thought, the prude inside you takes over from your wild child's short (but oh so sweet!) reign. Do not get your clothes. Do not look back. Just run. Once inside the van, panting and stark naked, applaud yourself on your quick thinking, before shamefully belly-crawling back up the hill to retrieve your underwear.