HOW TO RELAX IN PORT-AU-PRINCE

  1. Arrive with a Plan
    You're visiting for work so it's helpful to plan ahead. Make a schedule, contact local partners, hire a translator, print out your itinerary and place it in a cute little folder. Feel really good about you and your proactive self.
  2. Remember the Golden Rule
    Plans were made to be shat on—aka when going on a work trip to a country known for violent elections, don't visit during said election season. The vote is scheduled for a week after you arrive and a lot of Haitians don't want it to take place. Who knew people would get so riled up by decades of in-your-face corruption?
  3. Accept Your Fate
    You won't be leaving your residence for the next week, so get ready for some good ol' me time. Sit back, barbecue up some cabrit (see pic), sip on a cola couronne or corosal smoothie (one is better than the other, I'll let you find that out on your own), and let the fumes of burning cars take your mind to a whole other level of serenity.
  4. Lesson Learned
    You may not have gotten much work done, but you now know how to roast up a cute/delicious baby goat, so enough said really.
  5. Postscript
    The election got called off. Keep this strategy in mind for when a certain Oompa Loompa tries to win the White House.