THINGS I WOULD MAKE MY ASSISTANT DO IF I HAD ONE

  1. Buy and take care of fresh flowers
    I love flowers in my apartment but they require too much responsibility.
  2. Organize my shoes
  3. Get me Shake Shack
    I love Shake Shack but the closest one to me is 22 blocks away.
  4. Keep my fridge stocked with pink Harmless Harvest raw coconut waters
    If I can afford an assistant I can afford an endless supply of harmless harvest
  5. Keep track of all the shows I watch
  6. Make reservations for me
    Would be really cool to have someone call some place on my behalf
  7. PACK + UNPACK
    #1 reason I want an assistant
  8. Take candid photos of me
  9. Help me hang things up on my wall
  10. Cancel my gym membership
  11. Buy birthday gifts for my family
    I know this is awful but it's really hard to pick stuff out for them and I'd rather not do it
  12. Clean my makeup brushes
    Apparently you're supposed to do this
  13. Put my groceries into containers
    Like when people do this with their cereal and flour and stuff? It seems time consuming and useless but looks adorable and like you have your life together
  14. Write + mail letters to my friends
    I always wished mailing letters to people was part of my personality and if I had an assistant maybe it could be
  15. Return things
    This would save me a lot of money because I have a literal designated area of my apartment for things I need to return that I know I never wil