SKILLS I HAVE

  1. Focusing on the worst possible outcome of any given situation
    Sure, we might not die but we probably will and here is how.
  2. Passive-aggressive road rage
    The dashboard of my car has seen my middle finger way more than any living person ever has.
  3. Eating my feelings
    I don't even like chocolate that much but all of my feelings do.
  4. But also suppressing my emotions
    Me: "I'm so excited." Everyone else: "I literally never would have guessed that."
  5. Writing, I guess
    Eh.
  6. Sarcasm
    Eh.
  7. Sleeping
    I can almost always do this and for many hours.
  8. Sleeping when I should be doing other things
    Sleep, above all else. To thine own self be sleeping. Etc.
  9. Obsessing over things then immediately losing interest
    I used to buy all seasons of a newly discovered show and then promptly donate them to Goodwill. Good Samaritan or just someone bad with her money?
  10. Make-up application
    If make-up consists of Chapstick