THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN MY FIRST TWO WEEKS AS A COOK

I tried cooking for the first time in nine years. This is what happened.
  1. I found out my olive oil expired in 2013
    Whoops
  2. I broke a knife while cutting an avocado
    Like blade broke clean from the handle, like normal
  3. People apparently just know how to peel a squash
    I bought a peeler, next time it will be easier
  4. People apparently just know what 1/4 of an inch is
    I measure everything in centimeters. Like when the weather report says three feet of snow I'm like, "whoa there's like fifty centimeters out there!" I don't understand measurements.
  5. Cook/prep times are a joke, lol
    Lol where has my night gone
  6. What the eff is mincing
    I actually knew how to do this. My dad was a chef and this is the only thing he taught me.
  7. I now own a food processor
    And a grater and a mini blender and spiralizer that I returned for a snow shovel but I have some regrets about that now because spiralizing things just looks super fun
  8. Chickpea flour
    I couldn't find this so I got whole wheat flour. That'll be fine.
  9. Apple pie spice
    I also couldn't find this so I got pumpkin pie spice. They're both pies, that'll be fine too