Why hotels are better than sleeping at home

I have a nice home and a nice lady who cleans it because I'm way too lazy to do it myself. However...
  1. Someone else will make your bed, turn it down in the evening and leave you a night treat.
  2. Food can be brought to your room..booze too.
  3. Walking around your room naked with the windows open is a great treat for passersby (even gooder if your on the first floor. Goodest is its an office building next to you and you catch some poor bastard staring at your naughty bits. Most good if you get recognized)
  4. Sure you can have breakfast beer at home, but at a hotel, you can have breakfast beer in public
  5. "Good Morning, Sir" is genuine and heartfelt even if it's paid for and mandated by company policy.
  6. Fresh towels for every shower. No requirement or need to clean them because a towel fairy brings new towels every day
  7. Two beds. The hook-up bed and the sleep bed. Is that just me? Ok, nevermind. That's never happened. Forget the last 15 seconds of your life...
  8. Hotel bars. Never been? Move the rock and come into the sunlight. Quieter than normal bars, just as drunk and the rejection rate is much lower.