1. How it's impossible to take the second to last string cheese without taking the last one 2 minutes later
    Not funny enough
  2. How much safer middle-of-the-night bathroom trips are for our knees and toes now that smartphones light our path
    Not insightful enough
  3. A picture of a butter knife in a muffin that I was going to relate to the sword in the stone
    Forgot and ate the muffin but would've been gold