Observations from a new Fitbit owner

Because I can't help double tapping that little shit on my wrist.
  1. The cashier who helped me purchase my Fitbit was in fact wearing a Fitbit.
    Slightly unnerving, but I pushed through.
  2. A small portion of my personal happiness has become dependent on the amount of times my feet move in a day.
    Who have I become, and how do I stop this???
  3. Cursing my Fitbit whenever it vibrates, reminding me to move, is entirely normal and not an optional part of the experience.
    As I wrote that down it vibrated. Help. Me.
  4. Subtly checking to see who owns a Fitbit in every public location I enter.
    Because EVERYONE is fake invested in their health, I've learned. Everyone.
  5. And I GUESS I've become a more active, healthy, and aware person.
    I suppose.