My Wordpress domain expired and so instead of paying the 65 dollar renewal fee I'm blogging via ListApp. Please feel free to stop reading.
  1. I've been thinking of some brilliant excuse for why I've been reflecting on my emotions so much lately
  2. I was gonna call it PMS or a side effect of scheduling an important appointment with my body image therapist
  3. I had planned on making a joke about being a girl
  4. But I'm a woman and a human and I'm in control of my emotions as much as anyone else
  5. But I've been thinking so much lately about old relationships
  6. I have a boyfriend that is very sweet, crazy about me, and we have the right things common
    He lets me play his xbox and would miss the Panthers game to see me if I really wanted him to
  7. For some reason, I can't really process old relationships unless I'm secure in a new one
  8. It's not my healthiest habit and it's not fair to my significant other
  9. I'm working on bettering myself in this, but for now, I can't stop reflecting on my last relationship and all the ways I was so stupid and willing to change myself in a negative way
  10. We fell in love really fast and moved in together. There was an engagement ring, though never a proposal
  11. I'm thankful for this, because he was THE WRONG GUY
  12. But I just keep thinking how maybe there isn't a right person for me to fall in love with right now
  13. I'm very smitten with my current guy and he knows that love isn't really my thing right now. He also knows that if he needs more than I can give, he has my blessing to walk away from this at any time
  14. I met him at a time when my heart was still healing
  15. It was completely drained and I didn't have much to give
  16. I still don't
  17. Maybe we aren't meant to give parts of ourselves away
  18. It's okay if you can't give and you don't want to change to be better as a couple
  19. It's okay if you are okay with yourself and don't want to be part of a couple at all
  20. All of this just to say that it's okay if you don't want to lose part of yourself to be in a relationship right now
  21. Or ever
  22. It's okay if you're just you
  23. I kept thinking about how when we date the wrong people we sometimes change to better fit with them
  24. and when we date the right person we still change to better fit with them
  25. It's okay to date yourself
  26. To love yourself
  27. To better fit with you
  28. To write on your mirror "I love you, sweet heart" and have it be from you to you
  29. I'm happy in my relationship but I wish I had been able to realize this about myself outside of it
  30. If you are alone and you want to be alone, celebrate that!
  31. It's okay to come home to yourself at the end of the night