Why is everything so hard
  1. I can't even turn off my alarm
    My eyes are sealed shut. I'm hitting my iPhone. I can't find the snooze button. I'd do anything if some magically fairy would the snooze button.
  2. I should get up
    Ugh but I'm tired and sick and my legs are jello
  3. I stumble into the bathroom
    God how did I manage to do this to myself again
  4. My throat is on fire
  5. I sit on the toilet
    And fall promptly asleep. 10 minutes pass.
  6. I stand up
    Miraculous and deserved it's own step
  7. I turn on the shower
    Extra hot please, universe
  8. I look at myself with bewilderment
    You sexy majestical creature. You really made it out of bed this morning, didn't you? I'm so proud of you. Pep talk etc.
  9. I fall into the shower
    Like I'm drunk
  10. I put body wash on my hair and conditioner on my face
    And facewash on my body etc.
  11. I fall out of the shower
  12. I shrug
    Also an important step.
  13. My throat is still on fire
  14. I brush my teeth which kills my throat
  15. I make it back to bed
    PHEW was not sure about this one
  16. I pretend I won't go to class today
    Thus killing all of the available time to make myself look presentable
  17. I decide to go to class
    Wow I really shouldn't be driving
  18. Someone mistakes me for a zombie
    "No seriously I think she's moaning. Look at her eyes!!"
  19. I go with it
    Because no one tries to make small talk with a zombie