THINGS I NEED IN A PARTNER

I'm concerned that my favorite betta fish might be dying. And it's got me feeling some type of way.
  1. To care enough about me that they will give all betta fish a proper funeral
    I'm kind of a betta junkie
  2. To consider himself a Ted Mosby
  3. To love my dogs as I love my dogs (or at least pretend)
    In Christmas sweaters of course
  4. To acknowledge that my cat is flawless
  5. To never desire nuts in brownies
  6. To respect that I will wear a bra as minimally as possible
  7. To care about pizza
  8. To bring me coffee in bed
  9. To care about Hillary Clinton
  10. To be nerdy and respect my need to read
  11. To always pump the gas