1. Someone will always want to bug you when you are using the bathroom...every single time. And you will lie that you're pooping just to get a few minutes to check Facebook or text a friend.
  2. You slowly increase the time between showers, and lower your standards for how good you have to smell for it to be acceptable.
  3. Your house will never be clean to your standards while the kids are little. Get on up over it.
  4. You will hear gross and awkward things come out of the mouths of your children. Like "I didn't wash my hands because I wiped and it didn't get on my hands."
  5. I will add more later...