ANTICS OF MY GREEK IMMIGRANT GRANDMOTHER

My grandmother moved to the United States 49 years ago. She still doesn't speak English.
  1. Spend months trying to domesticate a stray cat that she lured into her house with food
    After forcing my aunt to return the cat from the pet store
  2. Ask me if I'm in class every time we talk on the phone
    Even if I called her
  3. Respond to "How's the weather?" With "I'm glad!"
  4. Point out all the black people in pictures of me and my friends
  5. Make pajamas for all my cousins with the same fabric she's been trying to "finish off" since 1995
    We get a new pair every year for Christmas
  6. Be totally astonished and say "He's not Greek!" in response to a picture of me and my Korean boyfriend
  7. Tell me I'm fat immediately after forcing me to eat *another* cookie