THINGS I DID THE DAY OF MY COLLEGE GRADUATION THAT PROVE I'M NOT READY FOR ADULTHOOD

  1. Ate cold leftover pasta for breakfast
  2. Cut myself shaving
    I thought I figured out how to shave around my knees years ago
  3. Got too excited and put on my cap and gown before I was finished getting ready
  4. Promptly got toothpaste on my gown
  5. Spent most of the ceremony thinking about how funny everyone looks in those hats
  6. Hid in the bathroom while my dad yelled at the waiter at a restaurant
  7. Took a nap
  8. Got drunk off of one hard cider
  9. Made my older brother finish my quesadilla because it was too spicy for me
    It was just cheese