THINGS MY MOTHER TEXTS ME

These are all in the last 3 months
  1. "I hear Ed Sheeran and Zach Galifianankis are co-writing a new Cretan hit"
  2. "Guau! (Wow in Spanish). Miss you hope all is well."
  3. "We are practicing some Cretan dancing to be ready. Dimitri, Tony, Nako and Bella will be wearing Cretan balloon pants tucked into their boots w the lovely black kerchiefs around their foreheads. Plus... Essence of goat! 🐑! "
    Bella is a cat
  4. "🍆 (trying to avoid overuse of the same emojis)"
  5. "I know it is long but I hopefully the pic will go 'viral' hahahaha ROFL"
  6. "Saw a cow dressed as the Easter bunny at the Lynnfield marketplace and thought of you. ❤️🐄"
  7. "We heard you yodel from 3 mountains away! (?) 🏂"
  8. "News from Reggie: Gus (his body-less son) has gotten married and is a missionary in Thailand. 🍜"
  9. And last but not least, my mom's critique of emojis