USELESS IDEAS #1

Only a small selection of the entirely useless things I write down
  1. 1.
    Being matched 100% perfect with someone on a dating site. You meet up, you hate each other.
  2. 2.
    Having to spend the summer before college making up four full years of gym credits.
  3. 3.
    Using a Bluetooth so you can crochet simultaneously.
  4. 4.
    Santa's sleigh crash landing in the Gobi desert. All the reindeer dead. Opening all the presents looking for water. Finding a snow globe, cracking it open. Cursing the heavens.
  5. 5.
    An Indiana Jones-type figure attempting to sell a handful of goblets at a very normal antiques trade event.
  6. 6.
    Poem from the point of view of Blondi, Hitler'a dog, resting at her sleeping master's feet, becoming suddenly aware of her ability to alter the course of history, then forgetting.
  7. 7.
    "How's the time of the show where I give you my lupus."
  8. 8.
    "You tweet for Coolio? I tweet for Coolio!"
  9. 9.
    Biker gang saving up for bikes.
  10. 10.
    Man in an Amazon.com uniform shooting a corrupted drone out of the sky with a shotgun.