What I Wanted to Be Growing Up, Chronologically

  1. Paleontologist (age 5)
  2. Veterinarian (age 7ish)
  3. Teacher (also age 7ish)
  4. Prostitute (age 14) because who wouldn't want to get paid to have sex all day?
  5. Actress (age 16) classier and more socially acceptable.
  6. Artist (age 17)
  7. Writer (age 20)
  8. Employed (age 22)
  9. Burlesque model (ages 26-32)
  10. Happy (age 35)
  11. Occult bookstore owner + happy (age 40)