WHEN I'M EXPOSED AS A ONE DIRECTION FAN

No one nods politely and moves on to the next subject matter when this band is brought up-everyone has something to say. Key talking points and a few quotes outlined below.
  1. Didn't Louis leave the band?
    Zayn. Zayn left the band, and we were (are) all very sad, but wait anxiously for him to go officially "zolo." Can we chat about that?
  2. But they're gay?
    Rude, not v accepting of you (you sound homophobic depending on how far you go with this comment) and lastly, unoriginal. Next.
  3. Harry looks like a girl/vampire/Jim Morrison.
    Harry is only trying to spread love and wear his gold ankle booties while dancing suggestively with a mike stand, let him live.
  4. Did you know Simon Cowell put them together?
  5. "She likes that British band.."
    Me in the distance: but Niall is from Ireland!!!
  6. Kyle?
  7. Neal? Neal.
  8. Like the river?
    No, Niall like the embodiment of sunshine and the happiest laughter and midnight snacks.
  9. Louis and Liam look the same...
  10. "My thirteen year old niece loves them and went to their concert last summer!
    😊😊😊
  11. "Have you heard-"
    YES YES YES.
  12. So this means you don't like Taylor Swift?
    Yo as much as I love you indulging in the fantasy with me that i know them, I don't and they are free ! to do! whatever they please! date whoever!
  13. How old are they?
    I get where you're going with this, but we're basically the same age. They are a big hit with age groups below me, I get it.
  14. "You're sick."
    Before, during, or after a moment where they make me tear up.