WINDSHIELD WIPER SPEEDS AS EMPLOYEES

It's been raining. I have a long (ish) commute. This is what I think about?
  1. Full Speed
    The CAN DO!!! employee. Has had upward of 3 cups of coffee, probably. Always says yes and manages to have something charming to say even in quick passing in the hallway. Does the job and THEN SOME. And then some more. At lightning speed. Worry about their burnout.
  2. Happy Medium
    You have your doubts about them. Can they handle the environment? What will they contribute? But they fall into a pleasant - and you hate to admit it - an easily ignorable rhythm. They help keep the vision clear and perspective in check. With all perfect things, you start to wonder if it's too good to be true. Are they going to break? Should I assign the task to someone at a different speed? Happy Medium doesn't pick up on your fear, they just happily do what they came here to do.
  3. Chill
    What were you worrying about again? Being near them makes you feel like you just went to a yoga retreat in Sedona and came back a new person. Walks to and from the copier with grace, says the right things with the right tone in meetings. Is never late or frantic or stressed. No one knows if real.
  4. Right Before Completely Off
    Gives one word answers like "fine" when asked how things are going. Feels like you're talking to a teenager with a passive aggressive demeanor. Shrugs a lot. Right before their higher-up has just about had it (the visibility from the windshield is next to nothing) they do their task and get the job done!