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  1. Saw inception.. Or at least I dreamt I did
  2. You don't know me; you've just seen my penis
  3. Blink once if you want me to pull the plug
7 more...
  1. There's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.
  2. If i had a gun with two bullets and i was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby. I would shoot Toby twice.
  3. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactia.
7 more...
  1. Toby, what do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced.
  2. You cheated on me? When i specifically asked you not to?
  3. This year, more people will use cocaine than read a book to their children.
4 more...
  1. Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet so fine, call me a Sasquatch!
  2. A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.
  3. What is the difference between a salesman and a sales woman? A saleswoman has a vagina.
3 more...
  1. You're going to H-E-L-L double hockey sticks.
  2. Jan: How does watching a movie increase productivity? Michael: People work faster after. They have to. To make up for the time they lost.
  3. I'm public speaking. Stop public interrupting me.
4 more...
  1. Well, well, well, how the turn tables.
  2. Its a big day for Phyllis. But, it's an even bigger day for me. Employer of the bride.
  3. Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey pee all over you.
3 more...
Over the last year, I started binge watching shows religiously in my free time. Its embarrassing how many shows I've watched in the past year but I thought I should share my favorite so far.
  1. 1.
    Dexter
  2. 2.
    One Tree Hill
  3. 3.
    The Office
7 more...