Things I've Stopped Pretending
- •That I don't want the last piece of cake.I'm just going to sneak it when I think you're not looking and it'll be awkward for everyone.
- •That I like the treadmill more than the elliptical.I only run if I'm being chased.
- •That I'm game to jump off a cliff "for fun".Having a bright red ass and uncontrollable heart rate for the rest of the day? I'll pass.
- •That I like clubbing.I don't like bright lights, strangers, or the threat of being roofied.
- •That I'm just going to eat half and save the other half for later.