Things I've Stopped Pretending

  1. That I don't want the last piece of cake.
    I'm just going to sneak it when I think you're not looking and it'll be awkward for everyone.
  2. That I like the treadmill more than the elliptical.
    I only run if I'm being chased.
  3. That I'm game to jump off a cliff "for fun".
    Having a bright red ass and uncontrollable heart rate for the rest of the day? I'll pass.
  4. That I like clubbing.
    I don't like bright lights, strangers, or the threat of being roofied.
  5. That I'm just going to eat half and save the other half for later.