ANIMALS I HAVE NAMED

All I ever wanted was a dog...
  1. Sprite (1995)
    I basically killed the class rabbit during its stay at my house and it was replaced by a guinea pig shortly thereafter. I won the raffle to name the new critter. My mom never let me drink soda and my bev of choice was Sprite.
  2. Pee-Wee (1999)
    My mom left for Morocco and I conned my dad into taking me to the pet store immediately after dropping her at the airport. I knew a girl who went as Pee Wee for Halloween that year and my interest was piqued. A guinea pig legend was born.
  3. Snickers (1999)
    I convinced my dad (a real push-over!) that Pee-Wee needed a friend. Snickers had a skin disease so we ended up taking it back. I just really like candy and I probably wanted a Snickers bar at that exact moment.
  4. Mongo & Lulu (2001)
    Two tiny turtles from Chinatown in NYC. I don't know where these names came from and I feel no attachment to them. We set these turtles free in our town pond and in retrospect that's pretty fucked up.
  5. Arthur (2003)
    This turtle was name-less for YEARS which is so weird. Eventually it was named after the husband of the bassoon teacher that lived down the street from us. Of course.
  6. Jack & Rose (2003, 2004, 2005)
    There were many iterations of the goldfish duo Jack & Rose thanks to the Pumpkin Patch carnival ring toss. I thought it was ironic because they were fish and lol the titanic like sunk, ya kno?
  7. Marlon Brando (2006)
    I just really needed to name a bunny after my #1 main hunk sexy fantasy dream man. Like you do.
  8. Stella (2007)
    Bunny rabbit named after Stella DuBois from Streetcar Named Desire. I was 17, slightly pretentious and loved screaming "HEY STELLA!"
  9. Cornflake (TBD)
    My future corgi probably.