SPRINKLE THESE THINGS AROUND YOUR HOUSE TO KEEP ME FROM ENTERING
Inspired by @raysofnope
- •Cottage CheeseIt's literally just curdled milk. Straight nasty.
- •CatsIf they're not declawed I can't deal.
- •SpidersTHIS IS NOT AN IRRATIONAL FEAR. THIS IS VERY LEGITIMATE.
- •Artificial Fruit Scents & FlavorsThese are wrong and intolerable. Grape, Orange, Cherry. Not okay.
- •Hand SoapUnless hand LOTION is veerrryyyy close by.
- •Older, Unfamiliar, or Attractive PeopleBecause I will do literally anything to avoid blowing my super secret agent cover, which I will inadvertently do around these groups of people...out of pure discomfort and awkwardness.
- •Air ConditioningI'm cold natured. I'm anemic. I will die.
- •Pets with trust issues.I am a very likable person. You should love me immediately. Seriously. LOVE ME!!!!
- •Energy DrinksIf you're not a 12 year old gamer, there is no excuse. Get it together.
- •GumSelf explanatory.
- •Walkway lights/outdoor arrangements/porch swingsWhy would I enter your house if everything I need is outside?
- •A doorTricky obstacle. Still trying to work my way around it. Will definitely need your permission and/or assistance to maneuver around it. Or through it. Honestly don't know how these things work. 😞