SPRINKLE THESE THINGS AROUND YOUR HOUSE TO KEEP ME FROM ENTERING

Inspired by @raysofnope
  1. Cottage Cheese
    It's literally just curdled milk. Straight nasty.
  2. Cats
    If they're not declawed I can't deal.
  3. Spiders
    THIS IS NOT AN IRRATIONAL FEAR. THIS IS VERY LEGITIMATE.
  4. Artificial Fruit Scents & Flavors
    These are wrong and intolerable. Grape, Orange, Cherry. Not okay.
  5. Hand Soap
    Unless hand LOTION is veerrryyyy close by.
  6. Older, Unfamiliar, or Attractive People
    Because I will do literally anything to avoid blowing my super secret agent cover, which I will inadvertently do around these groups of people...out of pure discomfort and awkwardness.
  7. Air Conditioning
    I'm cold natured. I'm anemic. I will die.
  8. Pets with trust issues.
    I am a very likable person. You should love me immediately. Seriously. LOVE ME!!!!
  9. Energy Drinks
    If you're not a 12 year old gamer, there is no excuse. Get it together.
  10. Gum
    Self explanatory.
  11. Walkway lights/outdoor arrangements/porch swings
    Why would I enter your house if everything I need is outside?
  12. A door
    Tricky obstacle. Still trying to work my way around it. Will definitely need your permission and/or assistance to maneuver around it. Or through it. Honestly don't know how these things work. 😞