Birthdays and depression

Today is my birthday - a day I normally don't look forward to as it triggers my depression. Instead of hiding from it, I'm going to write some random thoughts about it. I've decided to count my age in Hex - so I'm 25 this year. The plan should work until the big 2A
  1. In many years past I've always hidden my birthday.
    I never get comfortable with the attention. I would always rather no one know and just ignore it.
  2. Sometimes I'd go out of my way to make the day worse for myself.
    I'd pick fights with family and friends, I'd make plans and cancel them. I'd try to work late or just hide from it.
  3. I'd take down my birthday from Facebook and lock my wall so no one could write to it.
    If someones well wishes did slip through I'd quietly delete it and insist I never saw it.
  4. Things have been going very well for me lately
    2 years ago (on my birthday) we moved into a new house in an amazing neighborhood. I really love my job, my son is doing great in school. We are looking at adopting a child. Life is treating me well and I am allowing it to. Of course finding an antidepressant that works well for me is no small part!
  5. Today I decided to accept it.
    I unlocked my Facebook wall and individually responded to every birthday greeting, and genuinely enjoyed and appreciated each one!
  6. I even shared with my coworkers.
    Well, mostly. We had a team lunch today and afterwards I said "thank you everyone for celebrating my birthday with me. Even though you didn't know it."
  7. My wife came to the rescue!
    Towards the end of the day I started to retreat a bit and told my wife and son we should just order a pizza and stay in. She insisted we try a new burger place at Disney that I've been dying to go to. It was awesome!
  8. I let my guard down and let go of some of my insecurities and had a great birthday!
    Thank you for indulging me 😃