These colloquialisms may be of use if you ever find yourself in Colombia and kidnapped and need to shoot the shit with your captors. Also big thank you to @chloewepper for letting me have this one.
  1. Caer de perlas // Fall like pearls
    To be cascaded with good news or sudden fortune. As in: "Man, I was dead broke so that advance is gonna fall like pearls on me."
  2. Que oso // What a bear
    Complete and utter embarrassment. As in: "I slipped and fell and my towel flew off in the packed Equinox sauna. WHAT A BEAR!"
  3. Oye chino! // Hey Chinese Person
    Slang for "hey kid!" As in: "Hey Chinese Person, where's your mother?"
  4. Listo El Poyo // Ready the Chicken
    Exclamative for "There you have it" or "Let's do this". As in: "Wallet, phone, keys. Ready the Chicken!"
  5. Mamar Gallo // Suckle on a Rooster
    To joke around with; to mock. As in: "Joe is never serious with me, all he ever wants to do is suckle on a rooster."
  6. Que mamera // What Suckery
    To be engaged in an unbearable situation. As in: "What Suckery!", shouted @samantharonson , "I have to sit through Boyhood again!"
  7. Inmamable // Unsuckable
    Unbearable. As in: "Kanye West is so talented but also unsuckable."
  8. Loba // She-Wolf
    A woman with garish taste. As in: "Lisa VanderPump is such a fab She-Wolf."
  9. Ponerse las pilas // But your batteries in
    To get one's act together. As in: "You have no extensions left on your unemployment. Dude, time to put your batteries in."
  10. Poner los cachos // Putting horns on
    To commit infidelity. As in: "Is Jay-Z still putting horns on Beyoncé?"
  11. Guevon // A Male Testicle
    A foolish or stupid male. As in: "You left the trunk open and your keys in the front door last night, are you a male testicle?!? *Guevona being the feminine form. Yes, in Colombia you can be a female testicle.
  12. Al pelo // To the hair
    Expression that denotes precision, usually in appearance. As in: "Before this vacation, that suit used to fit me to the hair."