Colombian Slang: The Literal Translations

These colloquialisms may be of use if you ever find yourself in Colombia and kidnapped and need to shoot the shit with your captors. Also big thank you to @chloewepper for letting me have this one.
  1. Caer de perlas // Fall like pearls
    To be cascaded with good news or sudden fortune. As in: "Man, I was dead broke so that advance is gonna fall like pearls on me."
  2. Que oso // What a bear
    Complete and utter embarrassment. As in: "I slipped and fell and my towel flew off in the packed Equinox sauna. WHAT A BEAR!"
  3. Oye chino! // Hey Chinese Person
    Slang for "hey kid!" As in: "Hey Chinese Person, where's your mother?"
  4. Listo El Poyo // Ready the Chicken
    Exclamative for "There you have it" or "Let's do this". As in: "Wallet, phone, keys. Ready the Chicken!"
  5. Mamar Gallo // Suckle on a Rooster
    To joke around with; to mock. As in: "Joe is never serious with me, all he ever wants to do is suckle on a rooster."
  6. Que mamera // What Suckery
    To be engaged in an unbearable situation. As in: "What Suckery!", shouted @samantharonson , "I have to sit through Boyhood again!"
  7. Inmamable // Unsuckable
    Unbearable. As in: "Kanye West is so talented but also unsuckable."
  8. Loba // She-Wolf
    A woman with garish taste. As in: "Lisa VanderPump is such a fab She-Wolf."
  9. Ponerse las pilas // But your batteries in
    To get one's act together. As in: "You have no extensions left on your unemployment. Dude, time to put your batteries in."
  10. Poner los cachos // Putting horns on
    To commit infidelity. As in: "Is Jay-Z still putting horns on Beyoncé?"
  11. Guevon // A Male Testicle
    A foolish or stupid male. As in: "You left the trunk open and your keys in the front door last night, are you a male testicle?!? *Guevona being the feminine form. Yes, in Colombia you can be a female testicle.
  12. Al pelo // To the hair
    Expression that denotes precision, usually in appearance. As in: "Before this vacation, that suit used to fit me to the hair."