Doctors or "Specialists" I Have Stopped (or Should Stop) Seeing

Red flag or go with the flow? You decide. I use the term specialist very liberally. Most not covered by insurance.
  1. The General Doctor who didn't know I was gay for three years?!?
    Also I swear I've come in with gay problems/questions. **I chose this doctor because he's [hot and] gay.
  2. The psychiatrist who had an in office water feature and a ultra-nervous service dog.
    Lobby water feature fine. In office just plain weird. Calm service dog cool...nervous one caused anxiety.
  3. The Dermatologist with resting panic face from so much Botox.
    Is something wrong with my skin or are you just horrified to see me?!
  4. The Guru who told me money doesn't matter and that I should empty my bank account.
    Also sent you into trances via microphone.
  5. The Beverly Hills Psychic who name dropped her celebrity clients and wore Chanel.
    But guessed initials of my current boyfriend.
  6. The Santero who cracked an egg on my naked body.
    But made me buy egg and while I was at it bring him some groceries.
  7. The Physical Therapist who forgot which hip was the bad one.
  8. The Chiropractor who grabbed my right testicle.
  9. The Other Chiropractor who worked on my body without ever touching me and put me in moon boots.
    Also water feature.
  10. The Holistic Doctor whose receptionist laughed when I asked if they took insurance.
    But office pamphlet included first hand quotes from Gwyneth.
  11. The Russian Physician who air kissed pharmaceutical sales reps in the lobby like every time I was there and always ran late from lunch.
    "What do you have for me today, and how many do I need to sell to get to Cancun?"
  12. The Acupuncturist who asked me to pay him under the table.
  13. The Hand Doctor with shaky fingers.
  14. The Venice Beach Prophet who called me from a rave to hang out after just one session.