Observations From a Venice Beach Lunch Meeting

  1. Milk crate is the new chair and table
    As in "pull up a milk crate so we can chat".
  2. Blue beach cruiser is the new grey Prius
    Also give your bike a secret/special symbol or sticker or you will leave with the wrong blue beach cruiser
  3. Australian waiter is the new Midwestern model
  4. Jesus sandal is the new super distressed lace up boot
    Jesus, why?
  5. Patrick Dempsey is the new Rob Lowe
    That all too real moment where a brat-packer almost smacks your smoothie out of your hand and then apologizes with erotic blue eyes. Yes, I promise it's happened to me twice. And yes, both times it involved a smoothie.
  6. Parking lot/supply closet for seating is the new outdoor garden for seating
  7. Gorgeous child is the new Goldendoodle
    And errrrbody wants to pet him.
  8. Lard is the new Kale
    YAAAASSSS!!! Try our LARD salad!
  9. Sponsored Surfer/foot model is the new out of work Actor/screenwriter
    A sea of blonde and tan foot models. In effect, longboard is the new laptop.