Doing this one 1-10 order because SJW deserves top billing and no need for a countdown for the sake of anticipation. The most scientifically accurate and important list I will ever make.
  1. Serena Williams
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    She's not just the tennis GOAT but the greatest active athlete in the Space Jam Galaxy. She's the oldest number one ever and shows no signs of slowing down. She's matured from a young hot-head into an icon aware of her words and actions. She's been on the cover of VOGUE 3x. She has a sick nail game. WEAPONS: everything. forehand, backhand, speed, tactical game. the GOAT first serve. WEAKNESS: nerves and mid court uncertainty. Catch her flat footed in no mans land. GRAND SLAMS: 19 and counting.
  2. Steffi Graf
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    The perfect all-court game and the greatest all-surface player ever. Steely and stoic with pristine movement as free and fluid as her golden Mannhemian pony tail. WEAPON: Fräulein Forehand would set you up for the kill with that low as fuck/hard to handle slice backhand and then run around the ball and deliver her final blow with a lightning whip of the right wrist: Auf-fuckin-Wiedersehen. WEAKNESS: high serve toss could give her problems on a windy afternoon. SLAMS: 22 (record)
  3. Martina Navratilova
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    Marty is everything. The queen of grass won 9 titles at Wimbledon and could be considered the first power tennis player ever. Also glasses and hair. WEAPON: serve and volley, repeat, rinse, serve and volley. WEAKNESS: wanted to finish points quickly so if you hung with her past 6 shots you had your chances grow exponentially. SLAMS: 18
  4. Chris Evert
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    Americas sweetheart was a bull disguised with a pretty face, a petite South Florida frame and wore a frilly tennis dress. The Rocky to Martina's Ivan Drago, Chrissie could haaaaaang for days on a court outlasting you as you fatigued and dropped to your knees in a pile of sweat. WEAPON: clay court tact. She would beat you with relentless retrieving as you slowly bled to death. WEAKNESS: unable to run w the cheetahs (Graf, Marty Nav) on the faster grass courts. SLAMS: 18
  5. Margaret Court
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    I don't claim to know much about this pre-open era/open era giant. She was tall, broad shouldered and Australian and won her home slam a ridiculous 11 times. She was untouchable in the 60s. WEAPON: serve and volley. Fast and hard hitting. WEAKNESS: swam against the tide of history when she didn't stand up for turning the amateur league professional- a naive mistake she's since totally owned up to. SLAMS: 24 (Open Era: 11)
  6. Billie Jean King
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    Mamma-tennis: the great BJK. Fierce, amazing and Elton John's best friend. Billie paved the way for women to earn money in sports by refusing to play the Slams for no check (the men were making BANK). She founded the WTA and most of the other players stood in solidarity with her thus forcing tournament organizers to start paying up. Also, like Marty after her, a GIANT in the LGBT community. WEAPON: serve and volley. Athletic. WEAKNESS: hot temper could get the best of her. SLAMS: 13
  7. Monica Seles
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    "Whaa-geeeeee"!!! This double-handed-on-both-wings player was the orig screaming banshee of women's tennis. Her game was as remarkable as her grunts were loud. Stabbed in the back by a crazy Graf fan her career was slowed down at its peak- Goddess knows she would have made the top half of this list if it wasn't for that very dark day in tennis. WEAPON: baseline strength. Sharp angles on her groundies. WEAKNESS: speed and improvisational agility on faster surfaces. SLAMS: 8
  8. Venus Williams
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    V is a KWEEN. Especially on the grass of London where her gazelle legs and cheetah speed make her hard to beat even today. She's half of the most beautiful sports sibling story ever told and co-changed tennis forever. Kudos for still playing the game she loves while dealing with an energy sapping illness she developed in '10. WEAPONS: speed and power. Venus knows how to play one way and it's called "tear the fucking felt off the ball" WEAKNESS: erratic and can get sloppy. SLAMS: 7 and counting.
  9. Maria Sharapova
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    Oh Maria if it wasn't for Serena you would be the best player of your generation. Nobody can negate your FEARLESS FIGHTING SPIRIT. MaSha is never down for the count and plays her most searing tennis down triple match point. Also GRUNT HALL OF FAME and she has a line of yummy candy @ruddybuddy ! WEAPON: a warrior; was that Angelina movie UNBROKEN about Maria? Bruising backhand. WEAKNESS: Serena Williams who she hasn't beat since Miley was Hannah Montana. (0-16 since 2005) SLAMS: 5 and counting
  10. Justine Henin
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    Never miss congeniality Henin didn't give a flying fuck what you thought about her. Pound for pound and inch for inch the most impressive and talented virtuoso of her era. Problem is she was 5'3 and small framed which got her into giant problems vs. the big babes of tennis (Davenport, The Family Williams). WEAPON: Pugnacious. One handed backhand kissed by the gods of tennis, this stroke was Tennis Mozart. WEAKNESS: other than the size thing JH lost love for the game and burnt out fast. SLAMS: 7
  11. Honorable Mentions
    In order: Martina Hingis, Lindsay Davenport, Evonne Goolagong Cawley (name!), Aranxta Sanchez-Vicario, Kim Clijsters, Hannah Mandikova, Jennifer Capriati, Victoria Azarenka.