Top 5 Female Figure Skaters of All-time

The best of the best of this CRAZY, super subjective, insanely athletic, and always costumed sport.
  1. 5. Surya Bonaly: The NastyGal from Nice
    Surya was never an establishment favorite and was often underscored despite jaw dropping jumps. She was usually dressed for the gods and had the momager from hell. No World or Olympic title but truly a people’s (gay man’s) princess (fierce Kween). Surya’s swan song from competitive skating ended with a fierce "fuck vous" to the judging panel by landing an illegal 1 footed backflip and then bowing ass first to the judges table.
  2. 4. Yu-Na Kim: The Korean Kween
    Impenetrable Yu-Na is the apex of artistry meeting skating skills (spins, speed, etc). Also her triple-triple is the best ever because of its height; girlfriend might get her tight bun stuck in the arena rafters when she toe-pics to the heavens. Also shes the most famous person EVER in Korea. Judges were high on Putin Juice in Sochi where she unjustly finished second.
  3. 3. Katarina Witt: The East Deutschland Diva
    So much drama and eleganza, Witt could shut down a rink with the flick of her ice pick. She did things as theatrical as DIE ON THE ICE at the end of a routine and would leave the crowd so spellbound that you couldn’t even hear a Zamboni hum. Everything in her Olympic Carmen look ‘88 –from blade to scrunchie is TO DIE FOR.
  4. 2. Oksana Baiul: The Orphan from Odessa
    The little ballerina that could outgrew her ballet slippers and (rightfully) ruined Nancy Kerrigan's storybook ending with exquisite artistry and a badly bruised foot (an ice collision w no. 5 Bonaly) that needed legal painkillers so she could perform. Watch this starting at 3:17 Its EVERYTHING and will give you chills!!! @chloewepper can concur
  5. 1. Michelle Kwan: The California Dream
    No Olympic gold but who the fuck cares. She won everything else like a million times and had some SERIOUS bad luck like on ONLY the two most important nights of her entire skating life—we all have our bad days dolls. Always slaying it in her bestie Vera Wang's lewks Michelle is the most beautiful thing to ever kick up ice chips from a slippery and glossy frozen water surface. Bar none.
  6. Honorable Mentions
    Hon. Mentions: Sonja Henie (the first. Became a B Hollywood star), Sahsa Cohen (fiery and flexible as fuck but too volatile to crack top 5), Kristi Yamaguchi (Solid. Brought back Olympic Glory to US after drought), Yulia Lipnitskaia (Spins for days, RUSSIAN DRAMA and skates to Schindler’s List), Mao Asada (two triple axels in one program—most do NONE), Midori Ito (first triple axel in Olympics. Also first triple axel started inside a rink and ended outside of one. Major).
  7. Also special Hon. Mention to Sarah Hughes for having the night of her life in Salt Lake City and being fearless.