WHY IS I THE BEST CAT

All knows that cats is best in world. I be bests of cats for many reasons. Maybe you human has difficulty to understand, but I write list simple for even you.
  1. If I want, I get. No matterz.
  2. I eat the most special food
    Actually, my pee has fancy crystals, so food just makes peeing more better.
  3. OBSESSION with da bird wand
  4. I count things like real human
    Pigeons, dust bunnies, flies, and things
  5. I is always am hungry
  6. My humans they make my sandbox move to the flush bowl. Then I tell them NOOOOO and they listen.
    Actuallies I had to hold in my pees soooo long so they think the crystals plug me up and give me the sandbox back.
  7. I has a kitty micropenis. Vet says. HEY that be bad with human but with cat no big deal. Ha! No big! Errr, Human has no humor.
  8. Meow. Purr. Meow. CLAWS.
  9. I lays where I wants to. Laps. Faces. Keyboards. Betweens the faces and the iPhone. On the plates full of dinnerz.
  10. BOXEZZZSSS. CARDBOOOARDD.
  11. I has no butt. It's not butt, is "seal of approval" and I put seal of approval on all that I love.