HOW I SPENT MY TIME AT THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

AKA the Annual Morale Booster
  1. Said I would participate in a flash mob.
    I didn't even know these were a thing still.
  2. Spent an hour before the party complaining about flash mobs.
    Wondered why I was always being asked to take part in work-related roasts, performances, etc.
  3. Arrived at the party and was greeted by so many ugly Christmas sweaters.
    Clearly did not get the memo on dressing up. Instead opted for a regular ugly sweater.
  4. Sat in the corner and laughed a LOT at the expense of those who were caroling onstage.
    Felt bad about laughing but okay because I was hidden behind a piano.
  5. Waved and smiled and talked about the infamous rumor that we would get to leave early today.
    This ended up being just a rumor.
  6. Decided to stand in line for a fancy latte minutes before the flash mob.
    I wanted to time this so I'd miss the flash mob and could hide behind my latte.
  7. And guess what? It totally worked.
  8. The Eye of the Tiger started playing.
    The flash mob started and I tried to look super worried. 'I'm sorry guys! I can't jump in the conga line, I'm still waiting for a very hot beverage!'
  9. I was met with some scowls but it was totally worth it.
  10. I would said the flash mob was 10/10.
  11. And ended the whole ordeal with an Irish exit.
    Goodbye friends!