Schedule for Tomorrow's Inauguration

  1. 9:30 AM - Begin drinking game with yourself. Drink every time you fear the future.
  2. 10:30 AM - Take a break from drinking game; you fear you may upchuck your Cherrios.
  3. 10:40 AM - Prematurely change the channel to watch The Price is Right. Watch Let's Make a Deal. Try to identify whether or not the contestant voted for Trump. Get upset when white man from Texas wins a new car.
  4. 11:05 AM - Calm down at the site of Drew Carey.
  5. 11:11 AM - Wish that this day wasn't real.
  6. 11:31 AM - Commercial break. Can't watch another ad about dental decay. Begrudgingly change channel back to the Inauguration.
  7. 11:35 AM - Study the white area below Trump's eyes and notice its stark contrast against his otherwise orange skin.
  8. 11:36 AM - Ask yourself how this could have happened.
  9. 11:37 AM - Ask yourself if we are nearing the end of mankind.
  10. 11:38 AM - Mimic Melania's facial expression and stare into the void for 10 minutes.
  11. 11:48 AM - Turn the channel back just in time to catch the Showcase Showdown.