CONCEPTS I NEED EXPLAINED TO ME LIKE I AM FIVE

But really. I want true answers.
  1. The five day work week.
    Why isn't it four days and then a three-day weekend? I'd work an extra hour a day to have Friday off.
  2. The MPAA.
    I mean, I know what it is, but WHO ARE THEY? Also, how do they decide ratings? Is there a majority rule? Is there veto power?
  3. Socality.
    Really. What. Is. This. I've looked it up multiple times and still don't get how it works.
  4. The expense of our health care and higher education systems.
    I get it. They're super expensive. But why? Like, seriously, why? It's not like high-risk open heart surgery or a degree in astrophysics only happen in the U.S. What is the actual breakdown of costs? Why is it millions of dollars when it's not millions of dollars in the rest of the world? Why are ultrasounds $800 a pop like my insurance company tells me?
  5. Unpaid, very short maternity leave.
    Just why. It's not cheaper in any way. It makes child care unaffordable. It makes workers exhausted and less productive. Seems like a loose loose.
  6. Light beer.
    It's not beer.
  7. Non-alcoholic beer.
    See above. IT'S MALTA, PEOPLE.
  8. Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
    Explain your American humor to me.
  9. American cheese.
    Not cheese. Also, pretty sure it's unamerican.
  10. Uggs.
    Why.
  11. The internet's obsession with Disney princess listicles.
    Honestly, un-sarcastically want to know why people want to see Disney princesses as real life women, modern day people, with real fingernails, if they were gen xers, world leaders, endangered species, Legos or cakes.
  12. Cronuts/double downs/ramen burgers.
    Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD. Also, add to this anything that is unnecessarily deep fried (I'm looking at you, deep fried beer/butter).
  13. Amtrak.
    Why are trains late all the time? It's not like there's traffic. Also, why isn't this more efficient? It would create jobs and other countries have tons of high speed rails.
  14. Lying about your height/weight/appearance on Internet dating apps and sites.
    People are gonna eventually see you, right? Like, that's the point of Internet dating?
  15. Preferring ranch Doritos to nacho cheese.
    EXPLAIN PLZ. Do you also enjoy the taste of vomit?
  16. Fantasy football.
    What's the point? Also, does it cost money? And if so, what's the point?