8.8.16 monologue jokes

  1. Steve Mnuchin, executive producer of Suicide Squad, is also the financial chair for GOP nominee Donald Trump, making him the go to person for profiting off of super villains.
  2. Thousands of people were stranded in airports after Delta experienced a system outage, making today the only time travelers have regretted not booking with Spirit Airlines.
  3. Many Olympians have been covered in purple spots from cupping, an alternative medicine which utilizes cups to create suction on the skin for healing, or as Richard Jenkins 14 refers to it as "making everyone think I'm getting some action."
  4. In a study of 12000 Australian teens, those who regularly played video games also scored above average in math, reading, and science. These teens also had a higher incidence of tennis elbow secondary to unmentioned causes.
  5. Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart are to star in "Martha and Snoop's Dinner Party", a show in which they will prepare a meal for their celebrity friends. Despite speculation, Snoop will be utilizing Martha's serve ware collection, and will not be dropping the food like it's hot.