A FIRST WORLD PRAYER

Dear God, I know I should be praying to end hunger and poverty, but the following things deserve prayer too...
  1. For all my coworkers who have a cold.
    Have the strength to not getting me sick and the decency to stay home.
  2. Hillary Clinton.
    Despite how you feel about Benghazi, the poor thing. Imagine if you were running a campaign and then had a trial. Give her the patience to deal with the Republican Party and to continue wearing flawless pant suits.
  3. People who are obsessed with pumpkin spice, but cannot deal with the commercialization of Christmas.
    Let us pray they can someday understand their fucking hypocrisy.
  4. Hotline Bling
    Prayer of thanks for all the amazing memes that have brought joy into my life.
  5. Tom Brady
    For a Super Bowl win this year so we can prove to the rest of the world you're the Jesus Christ of the NFL. Amen.