This is half fictitious.
  1. Facebook: The Boring As Fuck Dude.
    Ready to marry anyone, move to Connecticut, buy a house, have kids, and do nothing but read the paper and work. Likes to attend his high school reunions.
  2. Tumblr: The Hipster
    Lives in Brooklyn, loves craft beer. Surprised I haven't heard of that band or I don't watch French films. Is secretly upset with how basic I can be.
  3. Instagram: The Really Hot Guy Who Only Banks On His Looks.
    6'5. Too hot for me. Surprised it even happened. Very dumb.
  4. SnapChat: The Younger Guy With ADHD
    Very fun and funny but also like a giant five year old. Confused if I continued to see him if I would be more like his parent or girlfriend. Fun in the moment type of thing, but no way long term.
  5. The List App: The Dude I Will Probably Marry.
    The guy who is intelligent but also fun. We can debate and discuss politics and religion for hours, but also have a Harry Potter marathon and watch Night at the Roxbury. Super supportive and just a genuinely good dude.