WHAT IF I

  1. Lived inside a walnut
  2. Turned into a pile of goo like Alex Mack
  3. Ate 2,000,000 hot Cheetos in one sitting
  4. Had a boss who never yelled at me
  5. Could grab stars out of the sky and eat 'em with cheese dip
  6. Could eat cheese without bloating
  7. Was purple skinned
  8. Had no skin
  9. Could shed my skin like a snake
  10. Was the size of a fingernail
  11. Was the size of a barge
  12. Was a barge
  13. Could swallow the ocean
  14. Lived inside a whale
  15. Could sleep, ever
  16. Didn't care about expectations
  17. Never made typos
  18. Madw a typl evrt wordf
  19. Had five heads
  20. Had five dicks
  21. Had one dick
  22. Had dicks for hands
  23. Was never sad
  24. Was always sad
  25. Burned down the house on accident
  26. Burned down the house on purpose
  27. Had a house
  28. Am just someone else's dream
  29. Am my own dream, causing a recursive implosion
  30. Am someone else's nigntmare
  31. Walked on my hands all the time
  32. Killed a squirrel in cold blood
  33. Could turn back time
  34. Could turn forward time
  35. Was the concept of time itself