THE NINE STAGES OF PSEUDOMONAS PANIC

  1. Stage 1: Receive LA Times alert regarding tainted scope outbreak at Huntington Memorial
    You can read the article here if you are so inclined: http://lat.ms/1HY8Bpb
  2. Stage 2: Google "pseudomonas infection" and learn that it has a high mortality rate and can be easily spread in a hospital environment
  3. Stage 3: Begin piecing the crazy puzzle together
    Much like the sensational @lenadunham, I suffered from a UTI last week. My UTI was gone at this point but I was feeling achy and feverish. WHAT IF I had pseudomonas?! I work in a hospital. My boyfriend works in a hospital. I visited my doctor at her hospital last week for said UTI. WHAT IF I had picked up some gross hospital germs and am now going to die?????
  4. Stage 4: Complete the crazy puzzle and hop aboard the crazy train
    Why did I wear this super cute cobalt blue a-line dress today? If I go into sepsis right here at work and have to get transported they'll just shred it with trauma shears. I love this dress! And I'll never be able to wear it again!
  5. Stage 5: A brief moment of resignation
    At least I brought my tablet with me today. I'll have plenty of reading material in the hospital. And I'll most likely get some really lovely flower arrangements out of this too.
  6. Stage 6: Text boyfriend above incoherent ramblings
  7. Stage 7: He asks me a few questions and tells me that in all likelihood I'm totally fine and that I should probably call my own doctor, since he is only a first year resident and doesn't know everything (yet).
    This is good enough for me, even though it's only coming from a first year resident.
  8. Stage 8: Stop panicking and celebrate my new lease on life by eating 3 M&Ms
  9. Stage 9: Go back to what I was doing before Stage 1, which was browsing Goop while I should have been working