Headlines from my life. Let's bury the lede together.
- •Area Woman Has 48 hours to Read a Novel on her Kindle for iPhone App for a Book Club She Shouldn't Have Joined Due to Procrastinatory Tendencies.
- •Local Woman Confused By Rattling Noise In Closet: That's Just Seasonal Roaches, Neighbors Say.
- •Area Woman's Dad Calls: "Checking In! Making Sure You Have a Warm Coat!"
- •Local Woman Cited For Tweeting From A Trader Joe's Parking Space.Enraged spectator notes that the Monroe Drive Trader Joe's lot is a bloodbath and spaces must be vacated as soon as groceries are purchased.
- •Area Woman Delivers Dazzling Putdown to Catcaller"Woo look at you! 🎶wolf whistle" 😡 "LOOK AT YOURSELF!" 👏🏼💀
- •Local woman has hormonal birth control meltdown in apartment.Sources say she actually has her shit together but 2 days out the month she calls her mom crying about how much her face and body hate her.Suggested by @simplyshelli
- •Local Woman Thinks She's A Photographer Because She Took Two Good PhotosHer brother confirms that she is on the way to her the closest photography shop to buy a $1500 camera. A high school acquaintance reveals that she posted on Facebook asking if anyone wanted senior portraits taken but that she kept scrolling.Suggested by @bredee
- •Local Woman Wears Black Long-Sleeved Crewneck For Fifth Consecutive DayA broken washing machine, or an unconventional shopper? Our investigative reporter brings you inside her closet.Suggested by @kyraa
- •Local Woman Spends Four Days Eating Junk Food And Napping, Wonders Why She Feels Like GarbageSuggested by @meganelizabeth