THOUGHTS I HAVE WHEN COMPANY COMES OVER

  1. Oh my goodness, you brought food! How kind!
  2. ...but it requires preparation.
  3. I just spend an hour cleaning this place up and the first thing you want to do is mess it up!?
  4. Great, now we are all sitting around and I'm supposed to provide entertainment.
  5. Does anyone want to binge-watch Kimmy Schmidt? No?
  6. When I asked if anyone wanted to play a game, I didn't mean endless rounds of that dumb card game.
  7. Please, please, please make this game stop.
  8. If I yawn repeatedly, will people get the hint that I'm ready for them to leave?
  9. Darn, they asked me if I was tired and my polite denial was too convincing. There goes that strategy.
  10. No no no don't start a movie! That commits me to 2 more hours of socializing!
  11. There needs to be a socially acceptable way to tell people to leave besides claiming exhaustion.
  12. What if every home had a small item that the host of a party could subtly hand to the guests and they would just know to leave?
    Preferably a boot so you could give people the boot