I'D PAY MONEY FOR THIS

A synopsis of things I would buy if they existed. (Some may just be too expensive to be practical)
  1. Home urinals
  2. A phone that didn't die after 20 hours of List App, snapchat, iMessage, and YouTube.
  3. Butlers that specialize in making sure I don't forget things
    Even if I put a reminder in my phone, the thought doesn't exist after 20 minutes.
  4. A roomba that washes and puts away my clothes instead of rolling over and getting stuck on them.
  5. A laminator that doesn't take 45 seconds to laminate a sheet of ledger paper.
    It's the thing I've spent most of my time on at work. I'm supposed to be an engineer.
  6. Water bottle that never runs out of water
  7. A chef that wouldn't judge me for ordering breakfast food all but twice a week.
  8. Milk that never goes bad
    Who am I kidding, GMO's scare me.
  9. Smart glasses that people don't beg to see every five minutes
  10. Full-feature smart glasses that don't cost two week's pay
  11. Coffee maker that can sense if I want coffee or not while I'm still asleep and brews it for me.
  12. Cans of SPAM that come without heart disease.
  13. Passenger trips to the International space station
  14. Reliable internet service in my city
    Looking at you, charter.
  15. A conspiracy theorist that follows me around and argues with people
  16. Classes that teach you how to move to a state of friendship where hugging is okay, and doesn't feel weird.
    I'm a hugger. I'm also embarrassed to hug my friends.
  17. Glasses that show other people's mood
    Like a mood ring that everyone else wears