NEW THANKSGIVING TRADITIONS FOR YOUR FAMILY

  1. Buy and raise your own turkey.
    Let the children name the turkey, and bond with it until you reveal to them your intentions.
  2. Start a fad diet for the week of thanksgiving.
  3. Incorporate an exotic dish into your meal every year
    Thanksgiving sushi roll? Heck yes.
  4. Cook all food in a one-pot fashion.
  5. Have a yoga retreat one day before thanksgiving.
  6. Boycott thanksgiving, citing it as a gluttonous worship of displacement and mass murder of an entire people group.
  7. Play practical jokes on one another throughout the week of thanksgiving.
    Take it too far.
  8. Swap it with another holiday.
    Example: New Years. Stay up all night, get drunk, shoot fireworks. It'll be a party.
  9. Secret Turkey
    Like secret Santa, but everyone gets gifted a different part of the bird.
  10. List things you're thankful for, in emoji form.
  11. Skip the hassle and eat at Waffle House for thanksgiving dinner. Invite the in-laws.
  12. Everyone gives a presentation on a different facet of the history and customs of thanksgiving.
  13. Preemptively put up Christmas decorations.
    Receive angry glares from strangers driving by. Most notably me.
  14. Shanksgiving
    Homemade shanks only, but you knew that.
  15. Give money to an obscure, unnecessary charity.
    I'm not calling charity unnecessary, I'm saying give to an unnecessary charity, like the Michael Scott 5K for rabies.
  16. Alienate an out-of-town relative.
  17. Thanksgiving breakfast
    Obviously.