Male Colleagues at My Day Job:

  1. I'm 30. Don't call me a "girl."
  2. Shake my hand, too.
  3. Consider that screaming and slamming doors is just as "emotional" as crying and asking for a minute.
  4. When it's just me in a meeting with all of you, male colleagues, do not side eye me when coffee needs to be made/fetched.
  5. Do not ask me when I plan on getting pregnant. I know that you don't care about my family planning, nor should you. I know that you're doing math about your program planning.
  6. When I'm speaking with one of my female colleagues, don't assume the topic is related relationships or beauty rituals.
  7. If it is, who fucking cares. You poking your head in to smugly "joke" about "gabbing" is intrusive and gross.
  8. I won't "Be a peach and..."
  9. And when I curtly correct you on the aforementioned requests without apologizing, do not dismiss me with a "Calm down."